and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
seriously why can't I let go?
this does my head in. i dont want to do this anymore. i want him to go away. get out of my head. but then i know i'd miss him. even if I forgot who he was it would still feel like a part of me was missing and thats never good.
Anddddd even though i can't have him because he says so i cant have anyone else because part of me wont move on, still hoping he'll want me one day like he says he will. And I compare every other guy to him without realising it
but anyway back to my life. These posts always seem so depressing :/ i'm actual not some sort of emo just have a lot of thoughts to share haha
but i've now pretty much decided i'm going to farny next year! i'm so excited. I'm gunna miss all my friends and the holt in a wierd way but i just need to get out there. im fed up with the same thing everyday and i feel going to farny will move me closer to real life. It'll be a new experience and hopefully i'll make new friends and enjoy it although im really nervous because im not the best at making new friends... but hopefully it'll be okay.
well today i did my drama exam. last time i ever have to do it! YAY although im really gunna miss the lessons and ofc miss fergy. our classes were always so much fun and everyone was really supportive. Now i'm on my three day weekend and tommorow my friends are coming round for a small gathering and a bit of cider drinking too so that we can enjoy ourselves... wait that sounds like i need alcohol to enjoy myself... i dont but it helps :) it does make things more colourful and funny especially when im with grace and phie. although phies better at the physcological stuff, and talking about stars :)
well theres not much more i can say about today. sorry i havent blogged for a while. i'll try and blog again tommorow if i find time but hey im a busy person ;)
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