do you feel like a man when you push her around?

okayy i've taken this from katie but not cause i want to copy her but just because i thought it was a realy good idea and i really need to say some stuff and if i put it on here only a few people i know will see it but it will help me as i'll get it off my chest.

so here goes

8 things i want to say to people but i just cant face it.

1. i miss you so much. more than i think you'll ever realise. I want to give up on you. so so badly. but i cant cause i need you. you were my best friend and the most amazing guy in my life and now i cant even talk to you. but i still love you. if you still like me, let me know and if you dont please let me go so i can try and move on x

2. what happened to you? gah i miss you so much. when i'm with its still just the two of us. like its always been but when do i see you? i feel like you're pushing me out of your life and i really don't like it. come back to me. please x

3. what are you doing to yourself? you're such a mess and it kills me to see you this way. you're so bright yet you're throwing it all away. HOW CAN YOU BE THIS THICK? i miss you. and at this rate i know i dont have long left with you. please sort yourself out. I'm here for you though. when you do decide to sort yourself out i'll be here. through it all just as long as i get you back. i love you x

4. I cant wait to see you again. i've really missed you. i missed my old carefree life of hanging out in parks and crying over stupid things that never really mattered. and talking for hours about meaningless things that we always found so meaningful. and laughing. i miss laughing...

5. wow we've been through quite a lot. and yes you do annoy me sometimes and im pretty sure i annoy you too. but you've been one of my closest friends for eleven years and im so thankful that i have you and i know you'll always be there. you're such an amazing friend and i love you to pieces. and I know you're probably gunna stay at the holt but I really dont wanna lose you so you've gotta keep in contact with me. because i'm gunna miss you. These last couple of weeks when i've gone out with you, they've been pretty awesome. and we always seem to have a good time. Iloveyoux

6. Did you mean any of it or was it just some stupid mistake? am i just some stupid mistake? I hope it wasn't but i dont know and i cant ask you and even if i could i wouldn't cause i'd be too scared that your reply would be yes. and i dont want this dream to end just yet..

7. wheey i'm so glad we're friends. i actually love our pointless conversations on msn until midnight, (sorry about being so annoying... :/ haha) and your hugs are amazing :) you actually are such an amazing guy and i cant believe we've only just got to know each other properly. but at least i've got the next two years with you ;) lucky you ayee.

8. please stop having a go at me. i know im not perfect but i could figure that out by myself, and i know that i'm sometimes lazy or dont do enough but it doesnt give you the right to shout at me and make me feel so weak and useless and dumb. and doesnt give you the right to rub your acheivements in my face. because tbh you've never been like me, you were always different, you've always only thought of yourself. so don't even pretend you understand me or my actions cause i know you never will. not until you open up your eyes and really, really look at me.