Cause when there's you I feel whole And there's no better feeling in the world

What is this feeling, this feeling of worthlessness, of uselessness, This feeling that anything i do will not be good enough, I'll never fit in but then never be special enough to stand out. I will always just be a faded corner of an amazing event. the bit people forget to say, never remember...

And whats made me feel like this?

i suppose its the way we are all moving on, splitting up, losing touch. I don't want to lose any of my friends I want things to stay just as they are now, I have shared some amazing memories with some amazing people and I'm just so scared I'm never going to see them again. Because i need them to feel whole and no-one or nothing could replace the friends i have at the moment. And yes we have our arguments, but they're meaningless pointless arguments that last only a few minutes and once they are over we're back to being best friends again. But i don't think i could find that with any other people. Some of my friends i have been with for eleven years, and I'm not ready to break that bond of friendship yet... Not when we're just beginning to grow up and be our real selves. I need them for that!

And that brings me on to my last topic. I want to feel loved this summer. I want to feel like i belong to one person and that they'd miss me if i was gone. And I know it'd hardly last longer than a couple of months or a year, and it would just be some stupid childish infatuation, but it's what i want right now. i don't care about labels such as boyfriends, girlfriends, in a relationship, single. That doesn't matter to me! I just want to feel loved this summer and have someone love me as much as i love them, want to spend time with me, enjoy my company and miss me when I'm not there. I want someone to feel for me as i have for them for a long time. But wishing doesn't make dreams come true, it just fills your head with sadness and disappointment...

Sometimes when you look back on a situation, you realize it wasn't all you thought it was. A beautiful girl walked in to your life. You fell in love. Or did you? Maybe it was only a childish infatuation, or maybe just a brief moment of vanity - Henry Bromel